Some people develop a heavy sense of commitment as small children, and they can end up in a relationship where their partner has issues that prevent them from being responsible. For the person who has made the adjustment, their partner’s lack can be a serious flaw that will eventually take over their entire life. The person might only want someone to take care of them, and they are unable to see their needs are crushing their significant other. Being overwhelmed by commitment can break a person’s spirit, and it can destroy an otherwise good relationship.
Few people would say they want a partner who is not responsible, but many of them fail to see their partner’s flaws if they make a commitment too soon. It takes time for people to really see past the glow of early romance, so waiting before jumping in completely is a good idea. Those who do not wait can get more than they bargained for, and it can cause them emotional pain as well as expensive legal fees to get out.
It makes sense to allow a partner with responsibility issues some time to correct their behavior, but they should be given goals and time limits. It could be what they need to be able to function as an adult within the relationship, or it could be the signal for their responsible partner to know when to end it. Failure to make improvements is a warning sign, and it should not be ignored by either person.
Relationships between two people are generally complex, but it does not excuse either person from failing to be responsible for their behavior. Those who expect the other person to be the only adult in the relationship are taking advantage of them, and the person who allows it to continue has their own issues. They are being used as a parent figure, and it is an unhealthy way to conduct an adult relationship.
